Worship

Prompt list 2/100

Worship |ˈwəːʃɪp|  the feeling or expression of reverence and adoration for a deity.

I believe this word is appropriate to do as it is Sunday. Growing up in a Catholic household, I live a tradition of going to church every Sunday. I remember when I was young, I used to look forward to going with my grandpa not because of experiencing the presence of God but the fact that I get a to go to fast food joint and get a toy. Being young I never questioned the tradition and just went by week after week, accepted it as a part of a routine.

Then I came to Australia where I met a group of humble people who displayed strong faith in God(Christianity). It was an inspiring sight, the way they worship, the way they hold their beliefs.I’ve always been shy and timid not belonging to a particular group. Therefore, when the church opened their arms to me, I jumped right in. There I met my first love, my first mentor, made friends,  fell into a lot of dramas, discovered emotions that I never knew existed in me (like oh my for a guy I can access my emotions to a great extent, which can be a blessing or a curse, more of a blessing of course.). I walked a blind and semi-conscious faith absorbing everything like a sponge. I was never the type of person to question things, I accept and move on. I accepted everyone views, never willing to question, afraid that I might sound stupid and lose my family or friendships. Because let’s be honest if you are in a tribe being an odd egg means you will slowly create distance and loose your sense of belonging. To be in a tribe, you must remain synonymous with their beliefs if you want to remain unless the whole tribe moves towards change. Unfortunately, that is life.

Moving forward, after four years I made one of the biggest decision of my life. I left the church. It was a collection of emotions and questions. And I myself played a huge part of it, I would love to blame people, but we all know that bears no fruit. I know that my small decision was the beginning of a snowball that pushed me all the way to the end. I always tend to defend myself in this part because I know that a lot of people assumed that I simply left, I remember when I caught up with some of my former church mates, I get questions why did you run away? Or they look at you with loathing eyes. I never come forth and shout that I stayed for a year trying to persevere and lived through the emotional feelings and subtle judgment without complaining or expressing pain. I always painted a facade of happiness and joy every time. A persona I have that I am trying to tweak a bit ( I love it, though). It does sound a massive excuse and self-pity, but a man has to rant or lay down his side sometimes right? Despite everything I still love every single person in my old family, I never bear grudge or hate. I advocate always to love because what good will you gain from bearing hate, nothing but consumption of your emotion and time. I still see some of them from time to time and I know some of them I will remain friends with my whole life. And my mentor Ko Josh I love the guy to bits. They are my first family in Australia, and I will alway be thankful for that eternally

Haha! Oh wow, this drew out more emotion than I thought. But it has been a good two years since that happened. In all honesty, I would say it was one of the best decision I made in my life. I have never felt so happy, free from drama, free from unnecessary emotions. There was a lot of pros and cons leaving a placed you genuinely adored. There were my only friends that time, and for someone that was socially awkward, it was a struggle at first. But it ushered me into a bigger world where I was to force learn how to navigate independently. AND IT IS AMAZING. It is a continuous exploration and a never ending journey.

haha! I hope this wasn’t too deep, I wanted to more naked to you all ( not literally of course, not until  I get my six pack).

I hope you all have a great Sunday! Keep exploring and learning. God bless

-Briane R

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Briane

As I fill the pages in my book, I wish to aspire or encourage you to do the same thing, because life is full of dreams and opportunities. Like Sholom and Bernard said;
Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich and a tragedy for the poor. - Sholom Aleichem
Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. -George Bernard Shaw

Cheers!
Briane Rivera

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